Somehow everything just fell into place. I have a great job. It may not be my dream job, but I'm on the way to my dream job. I have friends - friends that live less than an hour from me that I hang out with. I look in the mirror, and I don't hate what I see. For the first time
I've never kept a journal, so my blog has always been that for me. This week I've been looking back at some of my old posts from last summer, and I just can't believe how far I've come. I was hurt by how ex-friends had treated me; sad that I didn't have a "best friend" anymore; struggling to have the confidence to be true to myself and not feel like a dork 90% of the time; and desperately wanting to heal from 20 years of heartache. As I sit here and type this I can't honestly say that I'm healed. I can't honestly say that I'm not still hurt by the way people have treated me during my short time on this earth so far - but the list is definitely shorter than it was last year. I'm comfortable in my own skin; I know who my friends are and who I want in my life and who I don't need in my life. I've been to hell and back and by God's grace it hasn't hardened my heart. He's showed me by His perfect grace how get through this.
That's not to say, though, that I don't still have a long way to go. I'd love to say that I'm not scared anymore, but that would be a lie. I'm still terrified at a lot in life - I've overcome a whole lot of fears - but I still have a long way to go. But now I actually feel like I am going somewhere. I'm not stagnant anymore. I have a goal. A path. A road to follow - and that excites me! God has worked miracles in my life in the last year, and I can't wait to see where He takes me this year.