Always One Foot on the Ground // What I Wore

{top//Francesca's :: jeans//American Eagle Outfitters :: sandals//Steve Madden :: purse//Francesca's :: watch & bracelet//Francesca's :: scarf//Francesca's :: lipstick//Kat Von D's Painted Love in Underage Red}

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I never loved nobody fully

Always one foot on the ground

And by protecting my heart truly

I got lost in the sounds

I hear in my mind

All these voices

I hear in my mind all these words

I hear in my mind all this music

- Fidelity by Regina Spektor

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I've been hurt a lot in life. I don't want to get into the details of it because to be honest with you I'm trying to forgive everyone and not play it over in my head, but that is a reality of my life. A lot of times I haven't felt like I could depend on anyone but myself. I've had the ground fall out from below me about a hundred times too many. But even though it totally sucks to have that in my life, I don't regret it. All that pain made me who I am today - but that doesn't mean I don't still bear the scars from that hurt.

The mind is such an interesting thing. It controls so much of our lives and often times we don't even realize what it's doing. Over the years I've developed hundred of little trips to keep people at an emotional arms length, and all because it's just so hard to admit when I really care about someone. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and if I let other people know how much I care, that means that I can't pretend that I didn't later on when it does "inevitably" happen. 

Does that make sense? I hope so because it's 2am and I don't feel like trying to make this make more sense...