Getting Swept Away // What I Wore

"I can't decide if it's a choice
Getting swept away...

Your name has echoed through my mind

And I just think you should, think you should know
That nothing safe is worth the drive..."

~ Treacherous by Taylor Swift

Lately I'm obsessed with Taylor Swift's album, Red. I know, I know, I'm, like, three years late but better late than never, right? Between 22 (growing up, figuring out who we are and trying to find our place in the "adult" world); and songs like Begin Again or Treacherous (letting go of the past and being vulnerable again) I just relate to it so much lately! Maybe I just needed to grow up to appreciate it?

I spent so much of my life wishing I'd have someone special in it. I can't help it. I'm a hopeless romantic and I love love. I love the feeling of crushing on someone. The butterflies and blushing and feeling a bit little like a shy school girl. I love how vulnerable and raw and transparent it makes me feel

But whenever I find myself crushing on someone I almost instantly find myself wishing I didn't. As much as I love the drama and romance of it all I hate the feeling of helplessness. The waiting and worrying. Waiting for them to call me, to ask me out, etc. The worrying that I'm overreacting and I'm the only one that feels that "spark," that it's not going anywhere further. The vulnerability, rawness and transparency.

It's such conflicting feelings. I guess I just want a safe place to fall. I want a country song love. The kind where I'm just as much the only thing he can think about as he's the only thing I can think about. The kind where he shows up in a pickup truck to drive around with the windows down - and it doesn't matter where to as long as we're together.

But nothing worth having comes without risk, and so the circle starts again.

Outfit details:

shorts - Francesca's :: boots - Francesca's :: sweater - Francesca's :: necklace - Francesca's :: purse - Emma Fox via TJ Maxx :: headband - gift :: lipstick - Wet 'n Wild Mega Last lip color in Cherry Picking

Dear Future Husband: Why I'm NOT Waiting for You

Dear future husband,

I remember writing letters to Santa Claus when I was a child (and the easter bunny, and the tooth fairy - what can I say? I had a lot of questions!). I remember that as I started to get older I started to feel like maybe they weren't real. Maybe there was no one on the other end of my letters. I feel very much the same now.

See, this time last year I thought I'd met you. I thought he and I were a match made in heaven and would spend the rest of our lives together. That's when I did something I swore I'd never do: I pinned a lot of my worth on that relationship. More than enough to make me blush when I think back to that time in my life. Then it ended. That was a healthy reminder of how finite our human nature is - and our words.

Things got worse after that, but through it all I felt the strong hand of God in my life. A constant reminder of His love and presence is our lives. He showed me first hand that I have everything I need in Him. So this letter is to explain why I'm not waiting for you.

I've spent most of my short life wondering when my life would "begin." I think somewhere in the back of my head I think I thought that meant meeting you, because when I had my first boyfriend I felt like I had somehow accomplished something. As if I was now magically closer to the life I've always wanted. I woke up six months later with no boyfriend, few friends, and no closer to the life I'd always dreamed of. That's when I realized that maybe this wasn't what God had in store for me - in more ways than one.

I don't think God meant for me to spend my time waiting for you to come into my life - in fact, I don't even know if He has a "you" planned for me! He knows every detail of my life, and if he wanted a significant other in my life at this time, you'd be here now. Since you're not, the only logical assumption is that He has something else laid out for me now, and I don't want to miss it or waste it by pining away for you!

If you're out there I know that God has a fabulous future planned for us, and I know that we'll love each other dearly - but I also know that no one will ever love either of us more than our Heavenly Father. He is more to me than you ever will be, and I hope you can say the same thing about me.

So I'm not waiting for you. I don't think about you when I get dressed and whether or not you'd like what I'm wearing. I don't think about you when I go out shopping, and whether or not this is something we could use in our future house; and I don't think about you when I'm making life decisions. The only opinion that truly matters is God's, so that's what I think about. I think about how I would feel standing before Jesus in my #ootd. I strive to make my home a warm, and welcoming place so that through it I can show His love; and I try to discern God's will for my life in all decisions. I hope you're doing the same.

I hope you're not living or waiting for me, because I know that if we are both focused only on God nothing else matters. It won't matter if you're really out there or not if I'm finding my worth in my Lord and Savior. And if you are out there, everything will happen according to His will as long as we both put Him first in our lives.

If we can serve the Lord better together than we can on our own, I know that will happen. But if we can bring more glory to God singly, then I hope I never meet you. I hope I go on living life as a single woman, doing everything I can to follow in the Lords perfect plan for me. The most important thing to me is that when I get to the pearly gates I am welcomed in as a good, and faithful servant - outside of that nothing else matters, and I hope the same is true of you.

Signed,

Your (maybe) future wife

Dropped Out of the Sky // What I Wore

{dress//Francesca's :: boots//Bussola :: socks//local boutique :: cardigan//Maurice's :: scarf//Francesca's :: necklace//Francesca's :: purse//Emma Fox via T.J. Maxx :: belt//Target}

 "My life was so boring before you just dropped out of the sky."

I'm not sure how I got to this place in my life, to be honest. Molly and I were just talking the other day about how crazy it is that we're both more-or-less where we thought we'd be after graduation. She's at home writing and photographing while learning about Charlotte Mason's approach to teaching; while I'm moved out of my parents house, going to work surrounded by pretty things everyday, and in a relationship with the best guy I've ever known. Seriously how did we get here??

I feel like everything happened in a whirlwind - most of which I wasn't even looking for... Basically life kicks butt right now and I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. Here's hoping the last two months of 2014 are just as fantastic as the last ten have been.

Paddy's Green Shamrock Shore // What I Wore

{sweater//local boutique :: shorts//Francesca's :: tights//Francesca's :: scarf//Francesca's :: necklace//Francesca's :: boots//Bussola :: bracelets and watch//borrowed from work :: purse//Emma Fox via TJ Maxx}

Hello. 

My name is Katie. 

I'm kind of weird sometimes. 

I love Gaelic folk music - I can even sing along to several songs in Gaelic. 

I don't read new books - not that I don't love the stories, but I'm very particular about writing styles and would rather spend my time reading the classics. 

I eat raw cookie dough by the spoonful. 

I have the first two scenes of the Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring committed to heart. 

I believe that the 1995 adaption of Pride and Prejudice is the only version worth watching. 

I'm for gun rights.

I have a special fondness for period dramas.

I live life with my own personal soundtrack via my iPod.

I relate to Anne of Green Gables more than any other book/movie ever.

I'm loud. 

I'm crazy. 

I have a lot to say.

I'm nerdy.

I'm home schooled.

I'm me, and I won't change for anyone on this earth, so don't bother asking.

I am who I am. Take it or leave it.

Home

Today was my day off. Much as I love my job at Francesca's, it's nice to have a day to chill at home (especially since I'll be working all weekend). The day started with Chinese food for lunch while marathoning Supernatural with my favorite guy's arm around me; and after there was cake while I caught up on some of my favorite TV shows alone on my couch at home. It was a good day.

Did I ever mention that I moved out of my parents house last month? I don't think I did, but that happened.

I now live in Wisconsin. I think it's funny - it almost feels like fate, if I believed in that sort of thing, I mean. I've kind of always had a thing for Wisconsin. I love the northern-country-ish feel of it, and how woodsy it is. Even my graduation pictures ended up being taken in Wisconsin, and of course the renaissance faire is a huge selling point.

Now I'm twenty years old, and I just feel like my life fits in Wisconsin - if that makes sense.

When I was in high school I read the first three Anne of Green Gables books, and Anne of the Island quickly became one of my favorite books. In it, Anne goes away to college and ends up renting out a house called "Patty's Place" with three of her good friends and a cat. It was my favorite part, and I've always wanted to have something like that in my life. For the first time ever, I feel like I do. I may not have a cat anymore, but I have a church that I love just two minutes from my house; two of my best friends for roommates, and an amazing guy (who lives just ten minutes up the road).  I have a life here in Wisconsin. I have a home.

The Past is There Behind Me // Honest to Blog

When I was in high school I had this idea of what my life would be like when I graduated... and then it wasn't anything like that at all. I didn't have many friends and I spent a lot of my time off work bored and lonely. I wasn't happy with where my life was but I was too unhappy to see how unhappy I was - do you know what I mean? It was a like a slight depression that wasn't bad enough to make me change anything in my life, but just bad enough to keep me from being happy in my life. But God works everything out in his own perfect time, and as sad, and emotionally wrecked as I was when my kitty died last year, it was exactly the kick in the pants that I needed. That made me miserable enough to do something about it. I started running - which made me feel happy and confident again - and the rest just followed. It was my own little miracle.

Somehow everything just fell into place. I have a great job. It may not be my dream job, but I'm on the way to my dream job. I have friends - friends that live less than an hour from me that I hang out with. I look in the mirror, and I don't hate what I see. For the first time in a long time ever I feel like I'm going somewhere, and I like where I'm going. For the first time in a long time I feel like myself - but it's more than that. I feel like the best version of myself I've ever been.

I've never kept a journal, so my blog has always been that for me. This week I've been looking back at some of my old posts from last summer, and I just can't believe how far I've come. I was hurt by how ex-friends had treated me; sad that I didn't have a "best friend" anymore; struggling to  have the confidence to be true to myself and not feel like a dork 90% of the time; and desperately wanting to heal from 20 years of heartache. As I sit here and type this I can't honestly say that I'm healed. I can't honestly say that I'm not still hurt by the way people have treated me during my short time on this earth so far - but the list is definitely shorter than it was last year. I'm comfortable in my own skin; I know who my friends are and who I want in my life and who I don't need in my life. I've been to hell and back and by God's grace it hasn't hardened my heart. He's showed me by His perfect grace how get through this.

That's not to say, though, that I don't still have a long way to go. I'd love to say that I'm not scared anymore, but that would be a lie. I'm still terrified at a lot in life - I've overcome a whole lot of fears - but I still have a long way to go. But now I actually feel like I am going somewhere. I'm not stagnant anymore. I have a goal. A path. A road to follow - and that excites me! God has worked miracles in my life in the last year, and I can't wait to see where He takes me this year.

Just Love's Illusion // What I Wore

{skirt//made by me :: top//Talbots via T.J. Max :: wedges//Steve Madden :: purse//Francesca's :: necklace, bracelet and rings//borrowed from work :: sunglasses//H&M :: denim jacket//Francesca's lipstick//Revlon Colorburst Crayon Matte Balm in Unapologetic}

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

There was a time when I would have believed them 

If they told me that you could not come true 

Just love's illusion 

But then you found me 

And everything changed 

And I believe in something again

- I Choose You by Sarah Bareilles

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

This song plays at work from time to time and I'm totally smitten with it - it's such a catchy song!

This is what I wore to work on Saturday. We've had so many cute crop top/skirt combos come into the store lately that I decided to brave an attempt at one. I didn't hate it so that's great! I probably would have liked it more if it had been warmer out, but it was only 60-65 degrees despite the weather man's reports of a high of 80 degrees. Boo!

I was going to try to write a more editorial style post tonight, but I'm just not in the mood. One of the reasons I decided to start blogging again was that I missed having a record of my daily life. This place is the closest thing I have to a journal (just with more friends), and I really want that documentation of this year. From the very beginning I've felt like this would be a really big year for me, and so far it's living up to that expectation. I just feel so full and so happy and so alive. I'm seriously happier than I've ever been in my life.

There's a song we sing from time to time at my church. It's called Beautiful Things, and the chorus is:

You make beautiful things,

You make beautiful things out of dust.

You make beautiful things,

You make beautiful things out of us.

It's become one of my favorite songs, and not a little because I so see that in my life. Six months ago I was a wreck, and now I just feel so complete and happy... It's incredible, and I thank God every day for all He's done for me. ♥

Unspeakably Awesome // What I Wore

{shirt//my moms :: jeans//Target :: jacket//Top Shop :: scarf//Franchesca's :: ballet flats//Me Too :: purse//Franchescas :: necklace//vintage}

In the words of Lizzie Bennet: 

"You know, some days are bad. Like when you trip in the hall after science class and your skirt flips over your head just as the senior you have a crush on is rounding the corner. Then there are days that are just 'ok.' Maybe you find a twenty on the sidewalk, but you also get a parking ticket. Then there are days are just so unspeakably awesome and everything is perfect and wonderful."

That was this past weekend for me. After working eleven days in a row I got a three day weekend - which was ah-mazing! Friday I got to hang out with three of my favorite people in the world, Saturday I had a good ol' lazy day, and Sunday I actually got to go to church!

Friends make the world go 'round. Sometimes you just need a weekend of shopping, laughing, deep talks, chocolate and smiles to make the world seem brighter, and the load lighter.

I can be insecure sometimes. I hide it well, but it's there. I'm loud - very loud - klutzy, a dork and I definitely don't weight what I'd like to. Sometimes I have trouble remembering that other people see more than just that. I like myself the way I am, but sometimes I think I just annoy other people or that all they see is the loud, crazy side of me. I don't know why, but it definitely helps to hear that someone thinks I'm cute, enjoys spending time with me, etc - even if I do kind of think "me!? I'm just the dork with three inch long un-dyed roots!"

And speaking of crazy-long roots: one of my coworkers honestly told me today that she loves how my hair is going out and how it's like a reverse ombre. Glad to know I don't look like a total looser - even if I didn't plan this at all and it is just from total laziness. Who knows, maybe I'll keep it a while. Maybe...

All Good Things; All Good Things // What I Wore

 {shorts//Francesca's :: top//Francesca's :: cardigan//my mom's :: shoes//Ked's :: lipstick//Kat Von D's Painted Love in "Underage Red"}

I was talking to Laura today about how life is finally starting to look up and she responded with "All good things. All good things." in her best Olaf impersonation. So she's pretty much my favorite person ever now.

The latter half of 2013 was pretty depressing and awful. My kitty died and I was stuck in a dead end job that I hated every minute of. I gained 18lb in 5 months, and felt alone and just blech! But I have a new job now - that I love; I've lost 13lbs and am happy with how I look; run my first 5k; and I'm moving out in the autumn. Things are definitely looking up!

So now that things are starting to get better I'm trying to focus on getting back to the things that I used to do and that made me happy - like blogging and putting more effort into my appearance (which is a heck of a lot easier when you actually like the way you look!) I'm also trying to get more into the Word, and am starting a new devotional this week, which I'm really excited about! It feels good to getting back to my old self. ❤

Twenty Before Twenty-One

Wow I'm really stinking at this whole "post every day" thing lately, huh? I justify it by the fact that I've been working on several of my "twenty before twenty-one" goals - which I'll post about later.

In the mean time, I figure that since I turned 20 over a month ago, it was about time I shared my "twenty before twenty-one" goals on here!

1. Get a vehicle

2. Learn how to scrap book + complete a 2014 scrapbook

3. Take at least two college classes

4. Get a tattoo

5. Get my own place

6. Get my own cat

7. Take at least six road trips (day trips count!)

8. Do more photography

9. Get a musketeer hat and sword

10. Go to Bristol Ren Faire more than twice!

11. Loose 25-30lb

12. Get better at horseback riding

13. Get rid of all the crap I own that I don't need/use

14. Bake more

15. Go to school to become a counselor

16. Send out Christmas cards

17. Learn how to keep my room clean for more than two weeks

18. Get my FOID card

19. Read my Bible regularly

20. Learn to swing dance and Renaissance country dance