Getting Swept Away // What I Wore

"I can't decide if it's a choice
Getting swept away...

Your name has echoed through my mind

And I just think you should, think you should know
That nothing safe is worth the drive..."

~ Treacherous by Taylor Swift

Lately I'm obsessed with Taylor Swift's album, Red. I know, I know, I'm, like, three years late but better late than never, right? Between 22 (growing up, figuring out who we are and trying to find our place in the "adult" world); and songs like Begin Again or Treacherous (letting go of the past and being vulnerable again) I just relate to it so much lately! Maybe I just needed to grow up to appreciate it?

I spent so much of my life wishing I'd have someone special in it. I can't help it. I'm a hopeless romantic and I love love. I love the feeling of crushing on someone. The butterflies and blushing and feeling a bit little like a shy school girl. I love how vulnerable and raw and transparent it makes me feel

But whenever I find myself crushing on someone I almost instantly find myself wishing I didn't. As much as I love the drama and romance of it all I hate the feeling of helplessness. The waiting and worrying. Waiting for them to call me, to ask me out, etc. The worrying that I'm overreacting and I'm the only one that feels that "spark," that it's not going anywhere further. The vulnerability, rawness and transparency.

It's such conflicting feelings. I guess I just want a safe place to fall. I want a country song love. The kind where I'm just as much the only thing he can think about as he's the only thing I can think about. The kind where he shows up in a pickup truck to drive around with the windows down - and it doesn't matter where to as long as we're together.

But nothing worth having comes without risk, and so the circle starts again.

Outfit details:

shorts - Francesca's :: boots - Francesca's :: sweater - Francesca's :: necklace - Francesca's :: purse - Emma Fox via TJ Maxx :: headband - gift :: lipstick - Wet 'n Wild Mega Last lip color in Cherry Picking

Dear Future Husband: Why I'm NOT Waiting for You

Dear future husband,

I remember writing letters to Santa Claus when I was a child (and the easter bunny, and the tooth fairy - what can I say? I had a lot of questions!). I remember that as I started to get older I started to feel like maybe they weren't real. Maybe there was no one on the other end of my letters. I feel very much the same now.

See, this time last year I thought I'd met you. I thought he and I were a match made in heaven and would spend the rest of our lives together. That's when I did something I swore I'd never do: I pinned a lot of my worth on that relationship. More than enough to make me blush when I think back to that time in my life. Then it ended. That was a healthy reminder of how finite our human nature is - and our words.

Things got worse after that, but through it all I felt the strong hand of God in my life. A constant reminder of His love and presence is our lives. He showed me first hand that I have everything I need in Him. So this letter is to explain why I'm not waiting for you.

I've spent most of my short life wondering when my life would "begin." I think somewhere in the back of my head I think I thought that meant meeting you, because when I had my first boyfriend I felt like I had somehow accomplished something. As if I was now magically closer to the life I've always wanted. I woke up six months later with no boyfriend, few friends, and no closer to the life I'd always dreamed of. That's when I realized that maybe this wasn't what God had in store for me - in more ways than one.

I don't think God meant for me to spend my time waiting for you to come into my life - in fact, I don't even know if He has a "you" planned for me! He knows every detail of my life, and if he wanted a significant other in my life at this time, you'd be here now. Since you're not, the only logical assumption is that He has something else laid out for me now, and I don't want to miss it or waste it by pining away for you!

If you're out there I know that God has a fabulous future planned for us, and I know that we'll love each other dearly - but I also know that no one will ever love either of us more than our Heavenly Father. He is more to me than you ever will be, and I hope you can say the same thing about me.

So I'm not waiting for you. I don't think about you when I get dressed and whether or not you'd like what I'm wearing. I don't think about you when I go out shopping, and whether or not this is something we could use in our future house; and I don't think about you when I'm making life decisions. The only opinion that truly matters is God's, so that's what I think about. I think about how I would feel standing before Jesus in my #ootd. I strive to make my home a warm, and welcoming place so that through it I can show His love; and I try to discern God's will for my life in all decisions. I hope you're doing the same.

I hope you're not living or waiting for me, because I know that if we are both focused only on God nothing else matters. It won't matter if you're really out there or not if I'm finding my worth in my Lord and Savior. And if you are out there, everything will happen according to His will as long as we both put Him first in our lives.

If we can serve the Lord better together than we can on our own, I know that will happen. But if we can bring more glory to God singly, then I hope I never meet you. I hope I go on living life as a single woman, doing everything I can to follow in the Lords perfect plan for me. The most important thing to me is that when I get to the pearly gates I am welcomed in as a good, and faithful servant - outside of that nothing else matters, and I hope the same is true of you.

Signed,

Your (maybe) future wife

Shake it Off

All photos copyright Molly Dahl 2015 - used with permission

I'm finally getting around to share the photos from one of the other photoshoots Molly and I had while were on vacation at Koinania Valley Ranch two months ago. (I can't believe it's been that long! This year is just flying by!) We had very limited supplies for our photoshoots, but even so I think we got some really great images! I was totally coming up with characters for each of the photoshoots and I decided that this gal lives in a small, studio apartment in a trendy city like Portland or Pittsburgh or something, shops at ModCloth, and listens to 1989 while she gets her daily coffee from her favorite indy caffe everyday. So of course that's what I listened to for the duration of the photoshoot - after all, it's all in the details, right?

Speaking of 1989: I've been listening almost exclusively to female artists lately - not purposefully, mind you, I've just been super feeling the girl-power, independent vibe. Taylor Swift, Meghan Trainor and Miranda Lambert are, of course, all high on the list. I especially love Taylor and Meghan's music because they're both about being a twenty-something woman and all of the trials, victories and heartbreaks that come with that.

This past year has been a difficult time of trying to find "my place in the world." Lot's of friend drama, love-life drama, learning to budget, moving (twice), and generally just feeling very adult but at the same time very vulnerable and weak. Hearing such awesome, feminine songs helps remind me to be true to myself and not settle for anything less than purposeful, uplifting relationships in my life.

So if you're interested, go ahead and check out my top 22 Favorite Girl Power songs of the moment.*

*Disclaimer: A couple of the Meghan Trainor and Miranda Lambert songs feature a cuss word or two - so don't say I didn't warn you.

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An Update on Life

{lots of fashion, coffee, and thrifting happening lately}

Hello, Internet! I've been absolute rubbish at blogging lately. Life has been crazy and for some reason I've felt very censored about posting publicly - which is stupid, because I've literally been doing this for years and I've made some of my best friends through blogging. So I'm going to try to post semi regularly again. But first, some updates on how my life is going.

Work:

I'm still at Francesca's, but in November of last year I was promoted to the full time assistant manager of one of the stores in a mall. Being in a mall for the first time in my retail career has been an adjustment, but I love my store and my team. I was acting manager for two months and that was a great learning experience, and I know I want to be a manager someday, but not yet. For now I'm happy to be assistant manager to my new (awesome!) store manager.

Boys:

My boyfriend and I broke up in late December. It was a weird experience. For months and months I thought that if we ever broke up I would be crushed/heart broken/at my wits end. Then it happened... And I was surprisingly ok. Not going to say I didn't have my moments of sadness, but as Mr Collins of Pride and Predjudice so eloquently put it once - for as they say, even a broken clock is right twice a day - "resignation is never so perfect as when the blessing denied begins to loose somewhat of its value in our estimation." So, yeah. Basically I'm a-ok. 

Home:

In September I moved in with two of my best friends just over the border in Wisconsin. It ended up not being the best of situations so I'll be moving again at the end of the month, to an adorable, little, one bedroom, upper apartment about ten minutes north of where I am now. I'm really excited. Living alone has always been a dream of mine, but I wasn't sure if be able to find a place I could afford. As always, however, God provided exactly what I needed and I'm excited to start this new chapter of my life (as well as being able to decorate it however I choose!).

Fashion:

I've actually been really happy with my style and the pieces I own lately! I mean, I better be considering how many I have! Working at Francesca's is seriously dangerous for me, y'all! The only problem is that I'm lazy and haven't been taking pictures for this lil' piece of the Internet. Boo! I'm going to try to do better as the weather warms up.

So yeah, that's what I've been up to lately! Just lots of working and thrifting and getting ready to move. Spring is for new beginnings, right?

Home

Today was my day off. Much as I love my job at Francesca's, it's nice to have a day to chill at home (especially since I'll be working all weekend). The day started with Chinese food for lunch while marathoning Supernatural with my favorite guy's arm around me; and after there was cake while I caught up on some of my favorite TV shows alone on my couch at home. It was a good day.

Did I ever mention that I moved out of my parents house last month? I don't think I did, but that happened.

I now live in Wisconsin. I think it's funny - it almost feels like fate, if I believed in that sort of thing, I mean. I've kind of always had a thing for Wisconsin. I love the northern-country-ish feel of it, and how woodsy it is. Even my graduation pictures ended up being taken in Wisconsin, and of course the renaissance faire is a huge selling point.

Now I'm twenty years old, and I just feel like my life fits in Wisconsin - if that makes sense.

When I was in high school I read the first three Anne of Green Gables books, and Anne of the Island quickly became one of my favorite books. In it, Anne goes away to college and ends up renting out a house called "Patty's Place" with three of her good friends and a cat. It was my favorite part, and I've always wanted to have something like that in my life. For the first time ever, I feel like I do. I may not have a cat anymore, but I have a church that I love just two minutes from my house; two of my best friends for roommates, and an amazing guy (who lives just ten minutes up the road).  I have a life here in Wisconsin. I have a home.

Just Love's Illusion // What I Wore

{skirt//made by me :: top//Talbots via T.J. Max :: wedges//Steve Madden :: purse//Francesca's :: necklace, bracelet and rings//borrowed from work :: sunglasses//H&M :: denim jacket//Francesca's lipstick//Revlon Colorburst Crayon Matte Balm in Unapologetic}

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

There was a time when I would have believed them 

If they told me that you could not come true 

Just love's illusion 

But then you found me 

And everything changed 

And I believe in something again

- I Choose You by Sarah Bareilles

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

This song plays at work from time to time and I'm totally smitten with it - it's such a catchy song!

This is what I wore to work on Saturday. We've had so many cute crop top/skirt combos come into the store lately that I decided to brave an attempt at one. I didn't hate it so that's great! I probably would have liked it more if it had been warmer out, but it was only 60-65 degrees despite the weather man's reports of a high of 80 degrees. Boo!

I was going to try to write a more editorial style post tonight, but I'm just not in the mood. One of the reasons I decided to start blogging again was that I missed having a record of my daily life. This place is the closest thing I have to a journal (just with more friends), and I really want that documentation of this year. From the very beginning I've felt like this would be a really big year for me, and so far it's living up to that expectation. I just feel so full and so happy and so alive. I'm seriously happier than I've ever been in my life.

There's a song we sing from time to time at my church. It's called Beautiful Things, and the chorus is:

You make beautiful things,

You make beautiful things out of dust.

You make beautiful things,

You make beautiful things out of us.

It's become one of my favorite songs, and not a little because I so see that in my life. Six months ago I was a wreck, and now I just feel so complete and happy... It's incredible, and I thank God every day for all He's done for me. ♥

Memorial Day Weekend Recap

1. Friday night at home alone with my Chipotle burrito, pie and He's Just Not that into You

2. What I wore to the drive-in movie theater on Saturday night, the cute retro commerial there, and the amazing popcorn I made.

3. Delicious food at Chilli's + diet coke for a tired Katie

4. A great cookout at my friend Kelsey and Jack's house Sunday night

5. Bonfire after the cookout

6. An early 3.7 mile Memorial Day run with Kelsey

I hope you all had a good holiday weekend! Mine was super great. My parents and my two little sisters were out of town, so Maddie and I had the house to ourselves - which was a nice change of pace. Here's how I spent my weekend:

Friday: On Friday night I was home alone since Maddie had a party, and it was great to just chill out alone with good food and one of my favorite movies: He's Just Not that Into You while texting some of my best friends.

Saturday: I worked Saturday morning but after I got off Maddie and I met up with some friends at the local drive in movie theater to see X Men and half of Godzilla (we got tired and quit half way through). It was super nice to just chill out with some good friends, under the stars with a great movie - even if it was a little cold.

Sunday: Maddie and I had to get up early for church Sunday morning (which was super hard after being up till 1am the night before!), but after that I got to go out to lunch with some of my best friends while Maddie went home with some of her friends to hang out. I love having actual friends at church - it just never gets old. Then I went home to hang out with Maddie and her friends before going over to Kelsey and Jack's house for a cookout/bonfire which was a blast! The food was amazing, conversation entertaining and all around just a great time. I seriously just love my friends.

Monday: I had to work Memorial Day, but Kelsey and I were able to sneak in a run down to the harbor beforehand. 3.7 miles later we were hot and sweaty, but it was worth it. I really love having someone to talk to when I run, and I definitely want to do more runs with this awesome lady in the future!

Twenty Before Twenty-One

Wow I'm really stinking at this whole "post every day" thing lately, huh? I justify it by the fact that I've been working on several of my "twenty before twenty-one" goals - which I'll post about later.

In the mean time, I figure that since I turned 20 over a month ago, it was about time I shared my "twenty before twenty-one" goals on here!

1. Get a vehicle

2. Learn how to scrap book + complete a 2014 scrapbook

3. Take at least two college classes

4. Get a tattoo

5. Get my own place

6. Get my own cat

7. Take at least six road trips (day trips count!)

8. Do more photography

9. Get a musketeer hat and sword

10. Go to Bristol Ren Faire more than twice!

11. Loose 25-30lb

12. Get better at horseback riding

13. Get rid of all the crap I own that I don't need/use

14. Bake more

15. Go to school to become a counselor

16. Send out Christmas cards

17. Learn how to keep my room clean for more than two weeks

18. Get my FOID card

19. Read my Bible regularly

20. Learn to swing dance and Renaissance country dance