Let's Run, Not Walk, Through This Beautiful Life // What I Wore

{shirt//Target :: jeans//American Eagle Outfitters :: vest//Old Navy :: necklace//Francesca's :: ballet flats//Me Too :: purse//Francesca's :: sunglasses//H&M}

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This is a short race, this is a short life
Let's run, not walk, through this beautiful lifeThis is a good day, this is a good signYou've got green eyes and I've got sunrise
~ Talking Dreams by Echosmith
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Lately I just feel like I want to hang on to every single moment of life. Lol. How cheesy does that sound? When I was in high school I had this idea of what my life would be like when I graduated... and then it wasn't anything like that at all. It's taken a lot of pain, heartache and hard to work to get where I am now, but I'm finally starting to enjoy my life. I have good friends, a good church, a good job and I actually do more than sit in my room on the internet all day on my days off. I'm just really enjoying my life lately. ♥

This outfit is actually quite old. It's from last month when me and some of my BFF's went (or at least, attempted) to see Maleficent at the outdoor. Some car troubles and one week later we finally saw it in a regular theater. Lol. Oh well, it all worked out in the end. xo

The Past is There Behind Me // Honest to Blog

When I was in high school I had this idea of what my life would be like when I graduated... and then it wasn't anything like that at all. I didn't have many friends and I spent a lot of my time off work bored and lonely. I wasn't happy with where my life was but I was too unhappy to see how unhappy I was - do you know what I mean? It was a like a slight depression that wasn't bad enough to make me change anything in my life, but just bad enough to keep me from being happy in my life. But God works everything out in his own perfect time, and as sad, and emotionally wrecked as I was when my kitty died last year, it was exactly the kick in the pants that I needed. That made me miserable enough to do something about it. I started running - which made me feel happy and confident again - and the rest just followed. It was my own little miracle.

Somehow everything just fell into place. I have a great job. It may not be my dream job, but I'm on the way to my dream job. I have friends - friends that live less than an hour from me that I hang out with. I look in the mirror, and I don't hate what I see. For the first time in a long time ever I feel like I'm going somewhere, and I like where I'm going. For the first time in a long time I feel like myself - but it's more than that. I feel like the best version of myself I've ever been.

I've never kept a journal, so my blog has always been that for me. This week I've been looking back at some of my old posts from last summer, and I just can't believe how far I've come. I was hurt by how ex-friends had treated me; sad that I didn't have a "best friend" anymore; struggling to  have the confidence to be true to myself and not feel like a dork 90% of the time; and desperately wanting to heal from 20 years of heartache. As I sit here and type this I can't honestly say that I'm healed. I can't honestly say that I'm not still hurt by the way people have treated me during my short time on this earth so far - but the list is definitely shorter than it was last year. I'm comfortable in my own skin; I know who my friends are and who I want in my life and who I don't need in my life. I've been to hell and back and by God's grace it hasn't hardened my heart. He's showed me by His perfect grace how get through this.

That's not to say, though, that I don't still have a long way to go. I'd love to say that I'm not scared anymore, but that would be a lie. I'm still terrified at a lot in life - I've overcome a whole lot of fears - but I still have a long way to go. But now I actually feel like I am going somewhere. I'm not stagnant anymore. I have a goal. A path. A road to follow - and that excites me! God has worked miracles in my life in the last year, and I can't wait to see where He takes me this year.

Love is a High Speed Chase Racing Down the Street // What I Wore

{dress//Forever 21 :: belt//Target :: jacket//Old Navy via Ebay :: shoes//Me Too :: jewelry//borrowed from work :: purse//Francesca's}

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I'm coming after you

(Love is a high speed chase racing down the street)

- I'm Coming After You by Owl City

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I can't even tell you all how excited I am that it's finally June! I don't know about the rest of you, but I have big plans for this summer. State Fairs, the renaissance faire, classic car shows, the outdoor movie theater, miniature golf - you name it and I'm going to do it this summer!

I feel like I didn't really take full advantage of having a car and spending money last summer (probably because I didn't have many friends in the area) so this summer I want to do everything I've missed out on the last couple years. I think I'm off to a pretty good start, too, considering that I've already been the drive-in (even though it was freezing!) and I have the Saturday the 21st off of work, which is part of one of the neighboring towns around here's "Nostalgia Days," complete with classic car show! 

Summer, I'm coming after you!

Days are Good & That's the Way it Should Be // What I Wore

P

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I think the universe is on my side

Heaven and Earth have finally aligned

Days are good and thats they way it should be

~ Bright by Echosmith

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Am I the only one who feels like everyone is getting into relationships lately?? Miss Lauren of Someone Like You just recently a wrote a post about marriage/weddings and it - on top of all my friends newly changed FaceBook relationship statuses - has really got me thinking about the whole thing. One of these days I want to write a post about the whole "courtship vs dating" debate, but I don't want to get into that yet. 

I just always find it so interesting to hear people my age say they don't want to get married young - for as long as I can remember I wanted to be married young. My mom was married when she was 25 and had me immediately - and while I definitely don't always hold my parents' relationship as the ideal relationship, I know that I do want to have kids while I'm still young enough to run and play with them. 

After high-school all I wanted was a boyfriend. I was tired of being single and - quite honestly - just unhappy with my life and wanted a change. And then God changed my life. I can't explain it any better than just "God opened my eyes." I realized how miserable I was in my life and set about to change it. I started running, lost weight, got a better job, and just got happy with my life! All of a sudden I found that I didn't "need" a guy in my life as much as I thought I did. I found myself thinking that if it happened, great! But if not I'll be ok. I'm happy with who I am and where my life is going.

Having said that, I do still want to be married someday. I want that companionship and love and I still believe it exists (despite all the terrible examples I've seen and continue to see in my life). I also want to have kids, and I'm not about wasting my time in the mean time. I don't need a boy friend, but if I'm going to put time and effort into dating, it's going to be with someone who shares the same goals/values as me, and wants the same things I want in life. I don't need a boy friend, but if I'm going to have one it's not going to be just a fling. You know what I mean?

Anyway, those were just my late-night thoughts last night. I'd love to hear other thoughts on topic, so if you have any please comment and share them!

Just Love's Illusion // What I Wore

{skirt//made by me :: top//Talbots via T.J. Max :: wedges//Steve Madden :: purse//Francesca's :: necklace, bracelet and rings//borrowed from work :: sunglasses//H&M :: denim jacket//Francesca's lipstick//Revlon Colorburst Crayon Matte Balm in Unapologetic}

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There was a time when I would have believed them 

If they told me that you could not come true 

Just love's illusion 

But then you found me 

And everything changed 

And I believe in something again

- I Choose You by Sarah Bareilles

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This song plays at work from time to time and I'm totally smitten with it - it's such a catchy song!

This is what I wore to work on Saturday. We've had so many cute crop top/skirt combos come into the store lately that I decided to brave an attempt at one. I didn't hate it so that's great! I probably would have liked it more if it had been warmer out, but it was only 60-65 degrees despite the weather man's reports of a high of 80 degrees. Boo!

I was going to try to write a more editorial style post tonight, but I'm just not in the mood. One of the reasons I decided to start blogging again was that I missed having a record of my daily life. This place is the closest thing I have to a journal (just with more friends), and I really want that documentation of this year. From the very beginning I've felt like this would be a really big year for me, and so far it's living up to that expectation. I just feel so full and so happy and so alive. I'm seriously happier than I've ever been in my life.

There's a song we sing from time to time at my church. It's called Beautiful Things, and the chorus is:

You make beautiful things,

You make beautiful things out of dust.

You make beautiful things,

You make beautiful things out of us.

It's become one of my favorite songs, and not a little because I so see that in my life. Six months ago I was a wreck, and now I just feel so complete and happy... It's incredible, and I thank God every day for all He's done for me. ♥

Memorial Day Weekend Recap

1. Friday night at home alone with my Chipotle burrito, pie and He's Just Not that into You

2. What I wore to the drive-in movie theater on Saturday night, the cute retro commerial there, and the amazing popcorn I made.

3. Delicious food at Chilli's + diet coke for a tired Katie

4. A great cookout at my friend Kelsey and Jack's house Sunday night

5. Bonfire after the cookout

6. An early 3.7 mile Memorial Day run with Kelsey

I hope you all had a good holiday weekend! Mine was super great. My parents and my two little sisters were out of town, so Maddie and I had the house to ourselves - which was a nice change of pace. Here's how I spent my weekend:

Friday: On Friday night I was home alone since Maddie had a party, and it was great to just chill out alone with good food and one of my favorite movies: He's Just Not that Into You while texting some of my best friends.

Saturday: I worked Saturday morning but after I got off Maddie and I met up with some friends at the local drive in movie theater to see X Men and half of Godzilla (we got tired and quit half way through). It was super nice to just chill out with some good friends, under the stars with a great movie - even if it was a little cold.

Sunday: Maddie and I had to get up early for church Sunday morning (which was super hard after being up till 1am the night before!), but after that I got to go out to lunch with some of my best friends while Maddie went home with some of her friends to hang out. I love having actual friends at church - it just never gets old. Then I went home to hang out with Maddie and her friends before going over to Kelsey and Jack's house for a cookout/bonfire which was a blast! The food was amazing, conversation entertaining and all around just a great time. I seriously just love my friends.

Monday: I had to work Memorial Day, but Kelsey and I were able to sneak in a run down to the harbor beforehand. 3.7 miles later we were hot and sweaty, but it was worth it. I really love having someone to talk to when I run, and I definitely want to do more runs with this awesome lady in the future!

Always One Foot on the Ground // What I Wore

{top//Francesca's :: jeans//American Eagle Outfitters :: sandals//Steve Madden :: purse//Francesca's :: watch & bracelet//Francesca's :: scarf//Francesca's :: lipstick//Kat Von D's Painted Love in Underage Red}

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I never loved nobody fully

Always one foot on the ground

And by protecting my heart truly

I got lost in the sounds

I hear in my mind

All these voices

I hear in my mind all these words

I hear in my mind all this music

- Fidelity by Regina Spektor

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I've been hurt a lot in life. I don't want to get into the details of it because to be honest with you I'm trying to forgive everyone and not play it over in my head, but that is a reality of my life. A lot of times I haven't felt like I could depend on anyone but myself. I've had the ground fall out from below me about a hundred times too many. But even though it totally sucks to have that in my life, I don't regret it. All that pain made me who I am today - but that doesn't mean I don't still bear the scars from that hurt.

The mind is such an interesting thing. It controls so much of our lives and often times we don't even realize what it's doing. Over the years I've developed hundred of little trips to keep people at an emotional arms length, and all because it's just so hard to admit when I really care about someone. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and if I let other people know how much I care, that means that I can't pretend that I didn't later on when it does "inevitably" happen. 

Does that make sense? I hope so because it's 2am and I don't feel like trying to make this make more sense...